Tangled Affairs
by abby.stout.73
Summary: What would have happened if Rose and Dimitri gave into their desires? What if they gave their relationship a chance while Rose was still attending St. Vladimir's? Rose is risking expulsion, which could lose her the chance of becoming a true guardian. Dimitri, however, would be fired from his job, and possibly behind bars if he doesn't find a way to suppress his feelings for Rose.
1. Chapter 1

"I have to go, Roza," Dimitri murmurs as he pulls a t-shirt over his head, and I try to suppress a sigh as he leans down, pressing his lips to mine. I only nod, not in the mood to argue about him leaving before the crack of dawn. I know he only leaves because he's afraid of getting caught with his _apprentice,_ as he so often calls me. I can't complain, though, because the only time I truly feel like myself, is when Dimitri is with me.

"I love you," he says, a soft sigh leaving his lips as well as he laces his shoes, and I put a hand on his arm, unable to see him go without saying goodbye. It's not fair to him or to me. If I don't say anything, then I'll regret it for the rest of the day.

"I love you, too, Dimitri," I say softly as I feel his fingers thread through mine, and I look up to see his chocolate brown eyes watching me, his brown hair falling into his face. I resist the urge to reach up and push the stray locks away. "This just gets hard sometimes, but we'll make it work." I say, not sure if I'm trying to ressure him or my own conscience.

"We always do," he says before I feel the bed shift as he moves away and walks out of my room. I run a had through my hair and lean against the headboard. I steal a glance at the clock, noticing I still have a couple of hours before I'm supposed to be awake. I close my eyes as I crawl back under my blanket.

Sleep doesn't find me like I had hoped it would. Its as if my eyelids have memorized everything about Dimitri. Whenever I close my eyes, he's the only person I see. Sometimes I wonder if that's what it feels like for him, though I somehow always find ways to doubt it. I typically blame my age, or the fact that he's my mentor. Everything about us is wrong, which is why I often question why it feels _right_.

Dimitri still doesn't approve of us acting on our feelings, but I suppose the connection was too strong to ignore. I'm a senior now, for which we are both thankful. It's difficult to be in a relationship like this, especially when you know it will be months, or even years before the first soul is allowed to know. That's why he leaves me every morning, because he can't let anyone know he fell in love with his student who is seven years younger than him.

A knock on the door startles me back into reality, and I wonder who would be visiting me at seven at night, when the school is supposed to be sleeping. I climb out of the warmth of my bed and get up, rolling my eyes at the persistant knocking. "Don't break my door down!" I call out as I swing the door open. I furrow my eyebrows as I Dimitri brushes past me and back into the room. "What happened?"

He lets out a string of Russian profanties and tugs on his hair frustratedly. "There are more dhampirs outside than usual. I can't get out," he says as he look back up into my eyes. I inhale a slow breath and nod. I know how to sneak out, but Dimitri's larger frame will attract more attention than I would.

"I can call Lissa," I say quietly, and his eyes snap up to mine, shocked. I almost never ask Lissa to use her Spirit magic, but I'm afraid that if I don't, Dimitri will lose his job, and I couldn't handle that guilt. I would crush under the weight of losing him. So that's why I pick up my phone and dial my best friend.


	2. Chapter 2

Lissa doesn't try to hide her confusion at seeing Dimitri. Out of all the people I know, she's the one I've always been honest with. She's like my sister, we've been through everything together. But this is something I have to keep to myself, for both mine and Dimitri's sake. If anyone found out, even someone I trust as much as Lissa, I could lose my right to be a guardian. I don't even want to picture what might happen to Dimitri.

"What's going on?" She asks as she walks in, eyeing my mentor curiously. They don't know much about each other. Dimitri only knows what he read in Lissa's file, and Lissa only knows that Dimitri is the guy who brought us back to the Academy.

I stay still for a moment, not knowing what to say, or how to ask her to use compulsion on such a large mass of people. I glance at Dimitri before back up at my best friend. "Can you compel the guardians downstairs?" I ask as I stand a little taller, keeping on the confident front, not wanting either of them to see me weak.

"Why would I need to do that, Rose?" She asks, a small tinge of worry lacing her words, and I hear Russian cursing once again. "What did you two do?" She asks, her voice rising slightly. Lissa has never liked to be kept in the dark, and now is no exception.

"I'll explain everything later, I promise. Right now, I need you to compel the guards," I say and cross my arms over my chest, ignoring Dimitri's eyes on me, knowing he's worried I may give up our secret. I keep my eyes on Lissa as she finally nods. I suppress a sigh of relief and explain to her that the guards can't remember seeing Dimitri here.

As she walks out the door, he comes over to stand in front of me, and I point my eyes toward the ground. He's the only one who can break down my walls, and that scares me. I wish I could say I'm strong like him, but it would be a lie. "What are you doing?" He whispers, his accent thicker than usual. I shrug my shoulders, and I feel his fingertips bush against my cheek before tilting my chin up so I meet his eyes. "Talk to me. We're supposed to be doing this together, Rose."

I wish he hadn't said my real name. He only ever does that if we're in public, or if he's upset with me. "I'm not going to tell her about us, I just hate this," I say and look up into his eyes, seeing a flash of hurt before he puts a neutral expression on his face. It was so brief, I may have imagined it. "That's not what I meant, and you know it. I'm just frustrated with myself. I've never kept something this big a secret," I say and step away from him, running a hand through the dark, tangled ringlets of my hair.

"You knew this would be difficult when we got together, so what's changed?" He asks, an eyebrow raised as we stare at each other. The intensity in his eyes burns too bright for me to look away. "Tell me what you want to do," he says and I take a step closer, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"I want to be with you. You've always known that, Comrade," I say and try to give him a small smile, wanting to ignore the outside world, and be with him for as long as I can. He nods, and opens his mouth to speak, though he's cut off by the door opening, and I move away from him quickly. Lissa rolls her eyes from the doorway.

"It's done," she says and Dimitri mutters a 'Thank you' before walking out of my room briskly. I sigh and shake my head. Lissa raises her eyebrow, much like how Dimitri had only a few moments ago.

"Are you going to tell me what's going on now?" She asks, and I let out a shaky breath, not knowing whether to tell her the truth, or continue lying to her like I have since this all started.


	3. Chapter 3

Raging is one way to describe it, though I don't really think there's an adjective that fits. Lissa storms around my room, on the verge of screaming. I fight to restrain myself from yelling back, wishing she wasn't so difficult. " . . . You should have told me, Rose. It's not as if I can't keep a secret!" She says loudly and I roll my eyes as I walk past her, my shoulder hitting hers, and I hear her scoff.

"What do you want me to say, Liss? If anyone finds out about me and Dimitri, he's getting locked up. Not only that, I'll lose any chance I have at being your guardian." I say with venom lacing my every word. Her eyes widen a fraction, and I try to control my temper, though I know that'll be nearly impossible until I go to train with Dimitri.

"So why are you doing it? Why would you ever even think to be involved with him if it screws up your chance of being with me when we graduate?" She asks, crossing her arms over her chest stubbornly, and I my mouth nearly falls open, wondering how she could be so selfish as to ask me that. She picks up on what I'm thinking, even though the bond doesn't let her into my thoughts. "Rose, we've been through everything together. You're my dhampir, that's how things have always been," she says in a slightly gentler voice.

"Things change. I still want to be your dhampir, but I also want to be with Dimitri. That's something you have to understand. It's like you're asking me to choose between the two of you." I say, trying to keep my voice down so no one in the neighboring dorms hear us.

"Rose, you're about to risk becoming by guardian. It sounds pretty clear to me who you've chosen," she says and walks out of my room without another word. I put my head in my hands, holding onto hope that she'll keep quiet about everything I've just shared with her about my relationship with Dimitri.

I don't see Dimitri at all this morning, not even at our usual meeting time. The argument with Lissa screwed that up. I'm on edge, ready to attack anyone who makes the slightest move. I know that's not good, but since I missed training, I haven't had a way to work off the anger I'm feeling. I turn the corner to go to my history lesson, and I curse in Russian as I run into someone's chest.

"Careful, Rose. If I didn't know any better, I'd say you've picked up a few things from Belikov," a familiar voice states, and my head jerks up to look at Mason. My eyes are wide, as if I've just been caught in some sort of lie. Though I know that if Lissa had told anyone, news would have gotten to me already. I put on an easy smirk and shrug my shoulders as I look up at the ginger who has had a crush on me for as long as I can remember.

"Jealous?" I ask and he rolls his eyes in a playful manner, draping an arm over my shoulder as he turns around, starting to walk me back to my class.

"Wouldn't dream of it," he says, though I know his feelings would change if he knew I was with my mentor, who he and nearly every other dhampir views as a god.

They day – or should I say night? – eventually draws to close around six in the morning, and I head over to the gymnasium, and I can't help the small grin that breaks onto my face when I see Dimitri leaning against the wall, my chest tightening. Though unlike my giddiness to see him, he keeps a neutral expression on his face, never giving anything away.

"Hey, Comrade," I say and brush past him as I stalk into the building. I glance back and see he has the slightest of smiles on his face as he follows in long strides. I set my bag down on the edge of the floor and reach back, pulling my long, caramel-colored hair into a high pony-tail. I had considered cutting it at one point, but Dimitri talked me out of it.

"Hello, Rose," He says as he closes the door behind us, already going to get equipment for today. "What happened with Lissa?" He asks, a tinge of curiosity in his words. I feel a small pang in my chest as I look up at him, not knowing how he'll react, and I take a deep breath as I grab my water bottle.

"I told her about us, it didn't seem right to lie anymore. She won't tell," I say as I cast my eyes down while I take a sip, and I hear a soft sigh leave his lips as he walks closer.

"I don't like the lies either, Roza, but we agreed no one knows until after you graduate," he says quietly, and I nod as I close my eyes and rest my head on his chest, his arms wrapping loosely around my waist.

"I know, I'm sorry." I mumble softly before pulling away slightly so we can begin our lesson for the day.


	4. Chapter 4

"I don't know if she'll ever get over this," I mumble and sigh as I lay in bed with Dimitri. He's running his fingers through my hair, trying to calm me down. Another breath leaves my lips as I look around at our surroundings, recognizing it from our first night together. The familiarity of it is startling, seeing as in I've only been here twice before, but I don't think I could forget this place. This is the place where Dimitri and I first made love, where he first claimed me as his.

"It'll be okay, Roza, she'll come around," he murmurs, his lips pressed against my forehead. His words hold a note of finality, leaving no room for argument, but that's where he's wrong. Lissa hates being lied to, even if it is with good reason. She wouldn't be acting like this if she had been sneaking around with Christian, and it risked us being paired. She would have the same arguments that I had stated. Though if I imagine it that way, it does seem a bit selfish. That's what I hate, I understand how she feels. Even if I didn't, the bond would force me to share her feelings.

"We'll see," I say as I curl into his side tiredly, the two of having came here after our last session. This is my favorite place. It's dormant and lonely, but manages to hold that peaceful and tranquil feeling. It's also the only place where Dimitri and I are ever truly alone. This is a cabin at the edge of woods, located just before where the wards lay, always protecting us from the Strigoi who would otherwise be free to attack us.

"What are you thinking about?" He asks curiously as he watches me, and I blush, realizing I must have been lost in thought for a few minutes. I go to shake my head, but stop when I see the look he's giving me.

"Just you, us, this place. I wonder if it would be different if I was older." I say softly as I look into his eyes, and I feel his broad arms tighten around my body. "Do you think things would change if I were older?"

"People would know about us, but they wouldn't accept it any more than they would now. Two dhampirs being together isn't something you see every day, darling," he says gently, obviously trying to protect my feelings. He's right. I don't know why I would think it any differently. We're supposed to have children with Morois and protect them, but that's now what I want to do. Of course I still want to be Lissa's guardian, but I find it quite unfair that I can't fall in love and be with who I choose. I wonder if there's any possibility that one day, Dimitri and I will be accepted.

 _Hey, lovelies, so I know this is a shorter chapter, and I'm sorry, but I haven't had much time to write today, and I wanted to leave you with something before_ _I go to bed tonight. Pleaseee, review, I love hearing what you have to say. Also, can you go check out my other fanfics? Hopefully I'll update again tomorrow. Until then, bye._


	5. Chapter 5

I laugh at Mason as we walk along the sidewalk. I see the gym come into view a few yards ahead, where I usually meet Dimitri for our training sessions. As we arrive, I turn to say goodbye, though instead, my lips meet Mason's, and he isn't pulling away.  
Mason is kissing me. I don't know which thought scares me more. The fact that I know Dimitri is watching, or the fact that I can't pull away. I want to, but I can't hurt my best friend like that. Now that Lissa is angry with me, it's like I have no one except Mason. I don't want him to be in pain, but I also don't want to lead him on.  
"I'll see you after practice," he whispers and kisses my temple softly before walking off in the direction of his dormitory. I put my fingers to my lips as I walk into the gym, meeting Dimitri's hard glare.  
"You're six minutes late," he says with a thick accent. "Fifteen push - ups." He says as he walks over to his water bottle, and my eyes nearly bulge out of my head. He's not even going to let me explain myself. He blames me for the kiss even taking place, that much is obvious by the way he's acting.  
"So I don't get to talk? You have no reason to be angry with me." I say and pull my hair up into a pony - tail, my lips pressed into a firm line as his eyes scan over the room before finally resting on me.  
"I'm not angry. I knew this would happen, Rose. I even tried to warn you, but you wouldn't hear of it. You were blinded by your emotions, and so was I, and look where that's getting us." He says in a cool and collected voice, though I know he's forcing himself not to yell. "Now I have to sit here and watch as guys throw themselves all over you, because none of the would dare to think you're with your mentor," he mutters quietly as his eyes flick to the window and to the spot where Mason and I had been standing.  
"I don't have feelings for Mason," I say softly as I stare into his eyes, hesitating before walking over and wrapping my arms around his neck, my fear of losing him overtaking me.  
"I don't know how to continue with this, Roza," he murmurs as he pushes me off gently. "Maybe I should go back to just being your teacher for awhile," his eyes search for the hurt I'm sure is showing on my face before I nod and put up a facade of the blank expression he wears so often.  
"Whatever you, Comrade." I say quietly, hoping he didn't hear the break in my voice. I start on my push - ups without another word, and it's my first silent practice in a very long time.


	6. Chapter 6

It's been a week since Dimitri said he would just be my mentor, and so far, that's all he has been. He hasn't touched me, kissed me, or even called me 'Roza.' He thinks I'm okay, and I'm trying to be, but I don't know how. I've grown so dependent on him these past couple of months, but that's obviously not enough to keep him around. The only plus side to our break up, was the fact that Lissa is talking to me again.

"So Mason just kissed you?" She exclaims as we sit in her dorm room, and I nod for what feels like the fifth time. We've had this conversation nearly a thousand times since she started talking to me, and every time, my heart breaks just a little more. I never thought I cared about Dimitri that much. I knew I loved him, but I've never been in this much pain. "I'm sorry I keep bringing it up. I'm just trying to understand," she says softly as she puts a hand on my arm, and I sigh quietly. I'm happy to have her back, but none of it feels fair. I don't understand why I can't have both her and Dimitri.

"Can we talk about anything else? Is anything going on with you and Christian?" I ask, hoping to get the focus off of my messed relationship with my teacher. Her face breaks into an unbelievably bright smile, and I raise a curious eyebrow.

"He's made arrangements for us to go stay with his aunt this Summer. It's good for both of us, I think, to get away from the school. Plus, she doesn't get much company since his parents decided to turn," the last part comes out very softly, and I know she's thinking of her own parents' and brother's death. It's been a hard few years for all of us, but we do our best to move on, even though it hasn't worked out very much. Sometimes, I still wake up with Lissa's nightmares in my head. All we can do is try to move on from the traumas that still haunt us, relationship and family wise.


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Note at the end. Please Read.**

Lissa and Christian have left. Now I really am alone. Mason doesn't stay at the academy through breaks either. I with he did, just this once. I don't know how to handle being alone. I could hardly stand to be near Dimitri when the campus was full of people. Now that no one is here, my longing and need has only grown stronger. Things would be so easy for us in times like these. There are so few guardians and Moroi around, we'd barely have to put effort into sneaking around.

A sharp pain strikes through my hand as I hit the punching bag for the fourth time. Combat being the only way I truly know how to let my emotions out all at once. I limp slightly as I walk over to the edge of the room to bandage my hand, my entire body aching. However, the door banging closed causes me to nearly jump out of my skin.

As I swiftly turn to see who it is, my brown orbs find their way to the love of my life. My lips part slightly in shock before shaking my head, and look away. Hoping Dimitri doesn't notice the deep scarlet tinting my cheeks, I begin to wrap my hand. "Rose," his thick, accented voice says in a collected, almost bored tone.

"Hey," I say casually, proud when my voice doesn't break. I keep my back to him, hearing his heavy footsteps pad across the room, and to the practice stakes. "I thought you were on patrol tonight?" I inquire before mentally cursing myself, wishing I hadn't revealed that I paid attention to his whereabouts. As I begin to walk to the middle of the room, I see him striding along to meet me. A tingly feeling suddenly erupting in my chest.

"I switched shifts tonight. I thought I could come see how your training was progressing," he says, and my giddiness immediately dies down as he hands me one of the two stakes he grabbed.

"I don't know why you care." I mutter more to myself as I begin to make my way to the corner of the mat we usually use. I'm stopped suddenly when I feel a toned arm wrap around my waist tightly from behind, my body tensing at his touch.

"I care more than you realize, Roza," he whispers, his breath hot against my neck, and I hesitate leaning back into his chiseled body. I quickly decide against giving in to him, though I can't deny it's what I want. I pull away and glare up at him.

"You don't get to do this. You can't come in and act like you haven't ignored me and made me feel like I meant nothing. I needed you," I state, straining to keep my voice from rising.

"I know, and I'm sorry," he says in a soft, light voice. As I peer into his eyes, I see the light golden flecks mixing with the nearly obsidian iris. "But I still need to know your safe. So please, just let me make sure you know what you're doing."

"Fine." I say quietly before stalking to the end of the mat, getting in position to spar with him. My silent hopes to get close reigniting.

 **A/N: I know it's been a long time. Way overdue. I'm sorry for anyone who was waiting for this or may be angry with me. I just wasn't inspired to continue with this until now, but I promise not to leave like that again. Let me know if there's anything you want to see in the next chapter. Until next time, lovelies.**


	8. Chapter 8

**DPOV**

I can't believe I told her. I wanted to keep things simple, and that's definitely not what I've accomplished. I see that little spark in her coming back, the spark she lost when I ended things. Hell, hy did I even end things? I know I won't find another Rose.

Before she came along, I didn't know it was possible to want more. Now that I do, though, I'm addicted. Her taste, her smell, her touch. The smallest things she does drives me wild, and she doesn't even know it. She's the only one who can see past my facade, but there are still some barriers she's yet to break past.

Sometimes, I want her to move on. Maybe if she did, things would be easier for me. Seeing her with someone else would let me know that my chances are gone, and that I blew it. Perhaps then I wouldn't care so much. However, if that happened, I feel as though my heart would shatter. I can practically hear it cracking just at the thought of her with another guy.

My reverie is broken when Rose lunges towards me, and when I reach out to block her, she uses her height against me. She ducks swiftly before getting closer, my trained eyes following her every move. I take a blow in the ribs before flipping her onto her back when she takes a step closer. It's not long before she's on her feet, though. I feel the practice stake I gave her hit just over my pounding heart.

The fight isn't the only thing that caused a beating my chest. It's how close we are. I feel exactly how I did when our relationship started. At ease. Nothing was difficult in the beginning. I guess that's why people say, 'The calm before the storm'.

"Comrade?" I hear Rose whisper in a small voice. I hesitate before reaching my hand up, slowly beginning to stroke her cheek.

"Yes, my Roza?" I ask gently as I gaze into her eyes, her own penetrating stare locking me in place.

"I miss this," she mumbles, and I feel awful that I've put her through so much.

"So do I, but you deserve to be happy with someone who could treat you right. I'm your teacher, and it's so much trouble trying not to get caught." I say, watching as she takes her bottom lip between her teeth. I slowly untether myself from her, even though I want nothing more than to stay.

"Please? I'll do anything, Dimitri," she says, and I nod once again, this time in a knowing manner.

"That's what scares me. If we were protecting Lissa, and a strigoi came along, who are you going to throw yourself in front of?" I ask, though she doesn't answer out loud. I don't need her to. "I already know who I would save, and it wouldn't be the princess." I whisper before going to pack up my bag, needing to get away before I do something I'll regret.

"Wait! Please, just I want to talk. I hate that we're like this. You know more about me than anyone, even Lissa. I can't just sit around a pretend you're only my trainer anymore," she says, her voice shaking.

"I don't like this either, but I don't know what you expect me to do. I can't quit my job, but I can't be with you either. There are so many reasons we don't work." I state, trying to be the voice of reason here, despite the fact it goes against everything I want.

"I understand that, but you're forgetting why this is right - why we're right for each other," Rose whispers as her body moves closer to my own.

"Tell me why this is right, then," my voice is only above a whisper, and I silently curse myself, wishing she didn't have that effect on me. Before I have time to register what's happening, she's connected our lips in a passionate kiss.

 **A/N: Hey, guys. So I know you all are waiting for longer chapters, and I promise I'm working on it! Also, I had someone ask what point in the series I'm leading off from, and I'm not really starting from any point in the series. It's a fanfiction, so that allows me to recreate the story. I hope that clears up any confusion. Please continue to review. Honestly, reading positive comments makes my day. Until next time, my lovelies!**


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